One thing couples ask us quite often is how they can build in time to be present and bask in the meaning and beauty of their wedding day. This might sound challenging, given the scheduled-down-to-the-minute reputation weddings have, but we know that with a little planning and intention, you really can make sure you have some parts of the day that are yours alone.

Have breakfast together.

We’ve noticed that couples who begin their day together – whether for a cup of coffee, breakfast date, or morning walk – are considerably less anxious and more at peace as the day unfolds. While some hair and makeup schedules start at the crack of dawn, we advise paying the relatively small fee to include additional beauty artists and thus allow for a later start time. Not only does this let you sleep longer and create a less-hectic morning for everyone involved, but it will give you room in the schedule to spend some quiet morning time with your partner before the day begins (and ensure that you eat the most important meal of the day!).

Have a private first look (or something equivalent).

Even if a couple decides not to actually see each other before their ceremony, taking a few moments to hear each other’s voice, check in on each other, and pause for something meaningful – exchanging gifts, sharing private vows, or even just a hand-squeeze around a corner – is centering, reassuring, and really special. We highly encourage that whatever our couples choose for this time, it be without an audience whenever possible. Your friends and family can see the pictures later; this is a time meant for the two of you to share something authentic, not be worried about onlookers.

Build in some post-ceremony alone time that isn’t for photos.

You did it – you’re married! Now the party can start . . . but this is also the point in the day where the couple tends to be pulled in different directions to talk with guests – and you’ve only just really seen each other! We highly recommend building in some time alone, even just for 15 minutes, to let the fact that you’re married actually sink in. Introverts will appreciate some time where there aren’t 150 pairs of eyes and two camera lenses trained on them; extraverts will enjoy catching up about the day (as you’ve likely spent most of your time separate from each other!).

One of our favorite ways to do this is by setting up a private dinner, or drinks and appetizers, for the couple while their guests are enjoying their cocktail hour. This only needs to take half an hour or so, leaving you plenty of time to mingle before the party really starts; it will, however, require that all of your formal photos be completed before your ceremony. We also highly recommend not turning this into a photo op; give yourselves a break to just enjoy each other, the great food you’ve been anticipating eating, and that tasty mocktail your bartenders created just for you. If time and location allows, pop into your reception space to see all of your hard work and planning realized on your way to joining your guests.

Have a private last dance.

We always recommend having some kind of send-off from your reception, even if it’s informal (any other ending to the night is quite anti-climactic). A last dance for just the two of you is easy to pull off: while your guests are gathering in the lobby or outside to cheer as you walk out, but before your Wedding Pro team starts to clean up all the magic, request that your DJ play one last song for just the two of you. This allows you one last chance to experience the beauty of the celebration you created (and also keeps you from having to witness it all get taken apart!).

Most wedding day schedules can accommodate all of these ideas – which will ensure that you end your day feeling close to one another and with a sense of having been present throughout it. Just let your planner know that time together throughout the day is top priority for you – they’ll do the rest.

Want our expertise available to you throughout your entire wedding planning process? Schedule your Coffee & Chat to find out if your date is still unclaimed on our calendar!